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147 Pages«<145146147
Just for laughs...corner
aemathenge
#2921 Posted : Sunday, July 02, 2017 1:39:18 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 2,968
Location: Kerugoya
Swenani
#2922 Posted : Sunday, July 02, 2017 9:42:02 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 12,798
Location: Vacuum
washiku wrote:
A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss. When the boss came, the story began.
-The client: is room 39 vacant?
-The boss: yes, sir.
-The client: can I book it?
-The boss: of course you can.
-The client: thank you.
Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him with a black knife, a white thread 39 cm and an orange 73g.
The boss agreed though he was surprized at the weird things the client asked to have.
The client went into his room, he didn't ask for food or anything else.
Unfortunately for the boss, his room was next to room 39.
After midnight, the boss heard strange voices and noise in that client's room. Voices of wild animals and of utensils and dishes being thrown on the floor.
The boss didn't sleep that night. He kept thinking and wondering what might be the source of the noise.
In the morning, when the client handed the keys to the boss, the latter asked to see the room first.
He went to the room and found everything alright. Nothing unusual. He even found the thread, the black knife and the orange on the table.
The client paid the bill and gave the bellboys a very good tip and left the hotel smiling.
The boss was in a shock but he didn't reveal what he heard to the bellboys. In fact, he started to doubt himself.
After one year, the client showed up again. He asked to see the boss again. The boss was in a puzzle.
The client asked the same things: room 39, black knife, white thread 39cm and an orange 73g.
This time, the boss wanted to know the truth by all means possible. He spent a sleepless night, waiting for something to happen. After midnight, the same voices and noises started, this time louder and more indecipherable than the year before.
Again, before leaving, the client paid his bill and left a large tip on the table for the bellboys. The smile didn't leave his face.
The boss started searching for the meaning of everything the client asked to have. Why did he ask room 39? why the white thread? why the black knife??? In fact, the boss didn't arrive to any convincing answer to all these questions.
The boss now was eagerly waiting for the month of March, the month in which the client showed up.
To his surprise, on the first day of March, the same client showed up. He asked the same questions. Wanted to book the same room, wanted to have the same things as before.
The boss again heard the same noises, this time more louder than before.
In the morning, when the client was leaving the hotel, the boss apologized politely to the client and asked to know the secret behind the noises in the room.
-''If I tell you the secret, do you promise to never reveal it to anyone else?''
-''I promise I will never let anyone know''.
-''Swear''
-''I swear I won't reveal your secret''
So finally, the client revealed his secret to the boss.
Unfortunately, the boss was a sincere person. Until now he hasn't revealed his secret to anyone.
When he does, I will let you know...๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚


why are you being a dickhead @washiku?Sad Sad Sad Sad

lost valuable time of my life reading, time that I will never recover
Poverty is the root of all evil
ngapat
#2923 Posted : Thursday, July 27, 2017 8:07:07 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 12/11/2006
Posts: 829
Wafula bought a new Toyota Premio car.
He drives the car perfectly well during the day but at night the car just won't move.
He tried everything and still no luck.
He then called the Toyota dealers and they sent out a technician .
Technician: "Mr. Wafula, Are you sure you use the right gears?"
Livid with anger, Wafula replied: "Of course I always tu, how else tu you think it moves during the day? I'm not stupid!!!"

The technician asked Wafula to tell him how he selects the gears.

Wafula: "I use 'D' during the day and 'N' during the night."

๐Ÿ˜ณ ๐Ÿ˜ณ

๐Ÿ˜œ ๐Ÿ˜œ

The technician is still rolling on the ground... laughing!!!

๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…
โ€œInvest in yourself. Your career is the engine of your wealth.โ€
washiku
#2924 Posted : Thursday, July 27, 2017 9:02:29 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,059
Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?

Interviewer: Brown one.

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: And the black one?

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?

Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?

Interviewer: Black.

Farmer: It eats grass.

Interviewer: And the other one?

Farmer: Grass.

Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!

Farmer: Because the black oneโ€™s mine.

Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?

Farmer: Itโ€™s also mine.
Pesa Nane
#2925 Posted : Friday, August 11, 2017 10:57:27 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/25/2012
Posts: 3,938
Location: 08c
Stolen from twitter...... Just for laughs

Quote:
If Raila wants to win anything, asikule breakfast na lunch, atashinda njaa
Pesa Nane plans to be shilingi when he grows up.
obiero
#2926 Posted : Saturday, August 12, 2017 4:33:42 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/23/2009
Posts: 10,937
Location: nairobi
Pesa Nane wrote:
Stolen from twitter...... Just for laughs

Quote:
If Raila wants to win anything, asikule breakfast na lunch, atashinda njaa

Lol
DISCLAIMER: @obiero, MBA-MIS, CISA. Opinionated, owner of www.winda.co.ke. Aims to be factual
Mukiri
#2927 Posted : Sunday, August 13, 2017 8:57:44 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/11/2012
Posts: 5,198
washiku wrote:
Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?

Interviewer: Brown one.

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: And the black one?

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?

Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?

Interviewer: Black.

Farmer: It eats grass.

Interviewer: And the other one?

Farmer: Grass.

Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!

Farmer: Because the black oneโ€™s mine.

Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?

Farmer: Itโ€™s also mine.

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Proverbs 19:21
thuks
#2928 Posted : Thursday, October 05, 2017 6:22:46 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 10/8/2008
Posts: 1,435
A friend confided in me how their pension accounts with a company were h hacked and the money therein siphoned
Me: what evidence do you have?
Friend: (in a conspiratorial attitude) Here
Then shows this message in phone
"Warning: mysql_connect(): Can't connect to local MySQL server through socket '/tmp/mysql.sock' (2) in /usr/local/zend/apache2/htdocs/*****/branches.php on line 85 Could not connect: Can't connect to local MySQL server through socket '/tmp/mysql.sock' (2)"
Then says: "si unaona, mysql imeiba thru the socket"
I care!
washiku
#2929 Posted : Saturday, November 25, 2017 8:28:42 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,059
Uhuru Kenyatta met the top girl in the just released kcpe results and told her she can be a President too,
Meanwhile, Am being told those below 100 Marks tomorrow are also meeting Joho to assure them they can also be Governor
Waki encourage, tuna encourage
Rahatupu
#2930 Posted : Sunday, November 26, 2017 6:01:35 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 12/4/2009
Posts: 1,927
Location: matano manne
washiku wrote:
Uhuru Kenyatta met the top girl in the just released kcpe results and told her she can be a President too,
Meanwhile, Am being told those below 100 Marks tomorrow are also meeting Joho to assure them they can also be Governor
Waki encourage, tuna encourage

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
masukuma
#2931 Posted : Monday, November 27, 2017 10:29:35 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/4/2006
Posts: 12,974
Location: Nairobi
Rahatupu wrote:
washiku wrote:
Uhuru Kenyatta met the top girl in the just released kcpe results and told her she can be a President too,
Meanwhile, Am being told those below 100 Marks tomorrow are also meeting Joho to assure them they can also be Governor
Waki encourage, tuna encourage

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

ouch!!! Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
Lolest!
#2932 Posted : Monday, November 27, 2017 12:20:45 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 11,236
Location: Kianjokoma
masukuma wrote:
Rahatupu wrote:
washiku wrote:
Uhuru Kenyatta met the top girl in the just released kcpe results and told her she can be a President too,
Meanwhile, Am being told those below 100 Marks tomorrow are also meeting Joho to assure them they can also be Governor
Waki encourage, tuna encourage

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

ouch!!! Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
washiku
#2933 Posted : Monday, November 27, 2017 5:12:52 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,059
BREAKING NEWS

Uhuru welcomes his first grandchild, rumours all over says that the child was born not accordance with the law hence the birth is null and void but some say that the remaining days woudn't have affected the outcome.

Meanwhile NASA is set to hold a parallel delivery this evening at Nairobi hospital.

Wakizaa Tunazaa
Jump-steady
#2934 Posted : Monday, November 27, 2017 5:24:03 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 12/1/2008
Posts: 1,068
washiku wrote:
BREAKING NEWS

Uhuru welcomes his first grandchild, rumours all over says that the child was born not accordance with the law hence the birth is null and void but some say that the remaining days woudn't have affected the outcome.

Meanwhile NASA is set to hold a parallel delivery this evening at Nairobi hospital.

Wakizaa Tunazaa


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Swenani
#2935 Posted : Tuesday, February 06, 2018 1:48:13 PM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 12,798
Location: Vacuum
I find this funny
Quote:
Have you ever been on a flight and heard an announcement by the airline crew, โ€œIs there a doctor on board?โ€™โ€™ and you had to step forward to save someoneโ€™s life?

(Chuckles) No, but it happened to one of my colleagues, Dr Dawood, the guy of Surgeons Diary. He was my teacher and a good friend. He was on a flight once and he resuscitated somebody who was having a heart attack. The guy later sued him because he broke three of his ribs, a common occurrence in CPR. So for that reason, I usually donโ€™t look forward to being in a flight like that.


Poverty is the root of all evil
Lolest!
#2936 Posted : Tuesday, February 06, 2018 2:48:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 11,236
Location: Kianjokoma
Jump-steady wrote:
washiku wrote:
BREAKING NEWS

Uhuru welcomes his first grandchild, rumours all over says that the child was born not accordance with the law hence the birth is null and void but some say that the remaining days woudn't have affected the outcome.

Meanwhile NASA is set to hold a parallel delivery this evening at Nairobi hospital.

Wakizaa Tunazaa


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
Swenani
#2937 Posted : Tuesday, February 06, 2018 3:29:05 PM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 12,798
Location: Vacuum
Poverty is the root of all evil
thuks
#2938 Posted : Tuesday, October 30, 2018 7:09:45 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 10/8/2008
Posts: 1,435
https://mobile.nation.co...27700-riiqfg/index.html
Political gnus
Ecologists speculate that challenges ranging from climate change, variation in land use in the Mara ecosystem as well as political, economic, human and cultural factors disrupted the movement.
I care!
Swenani
#2939 Posted : Friday, January 11, 2019 12:20:10 PM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 12,798
Location: Vacuum
Quote:
Wakihesabu, tunahesabu,wakipeperusha matokeo, tunapeperusha,wakitangaza tunatangaza,walituibia kura, tunawaibia president
Poverty is the root of all evil
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