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3 Pages<123
Married People - Should we beware of new constitution?
kadonye
#41 Posted : Thursday, July 29, 2010 9:22:33 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/30/2009
Posts: 1,390
Kamau, if you are christian,do not divorce because you do not have sufficient grounds.The only justification is infidelity.Try do it thru church or a close family friend
What a wicked man I am!The things I want to do,I don't do.The things I don't want to do I find myself doing
Intelligentsia
#42 Posted : Thursday, July 29, 2010 9:29:52 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/1/2009
Posts: 2,430
Property:
non-issue here as what you bought before the commission of marriage is yours. However, if she modifies the building in any way even by adding just one brick to the roof (& she can prove it by receipt ya hardware ya mtaa) then you will have, as they say in legal parlance, have been royally f*cked coz she now becomes a 50% co-owner in the eyes of the law.
- at the moment contribution to acquisition of property is a key thing the kenya judiciary looks at and it has to be proven for the court to award someone a portion of it. Even with the new katiba, these precedents will not just be wished away to protect both men & women from gold diggers
family:
- forget that cowdung thingy ati you support the kid @ arm's length coz mkono ya serikal ni mrefu anyway! if it can be proved you have paid even for packet of milk for your son that is considered admission of paternity/acquired parental rights and you will slapped with a maintenance order faster that you can scream moi ishia

wife:
you clearly did not discuss your expectations and family plan at the time of courtship.Maybe you are the type whose dates were in loud smoke-filled bars with blaring music so you never got to really listen to her. And her to you. So you both just partied.Chickens have come to roost.
- age is the main factor to u/standing your lines of thought.
she's 23 and girls at 23 just wannna have fun - or chop books, party and advance their careers. she be no different,man.
Conversely, a 35 yr dude marrying wants a family pronto coz time is running out. He wants get this woman straight from the altar to the maternity so that he doesnt somesha his kids with pension monies.
A woman after 26 starts thinking along exactly the same lines - i.e of populating her nest because she feels her biological clock is ringing so loudly it can be heard in the next town.
so technically there's nothing wrong with her, or you!
Just that you are both in diff. age groups that have different expectations!
Give her a few yrs to come to your side of belief - it is not too late for you, after all you got a 5-yr old kihii. And besides, you can use this time to evaluate her further.
mukiha
#43 Posted : Thursday, July 29, 2010 11:11:33 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/27/2008
Posts: 4,114
John Kamau wrote:

Hi All

I make my humble contribution to this website to get your feedback on one issue I have been dealing with.

I married a 21yr old lady 2yrs ago. I am 35. AS always the 1st year was bliss but I got to see her true colours in the last year. Not only has she refused to work but she also refused to get kids (she is medically ok)

My issue is when by the time we got married I had bought a 5ac plot in Syokimau which is in my name. After we got married I took a mortquage in my name to buy the apt we live in. Now I want a divorce. My predicament is this new constitution.

CHAPTER FOUR - THE BILL OF RIGHTS
Section 45, says Parties to a marriage are entitled to equal rights at the time of the marriage, during the marriage and at the dissolution of the marriage.

My issue is, does the above mean that i will have to give her half of what I have.

This I foresee will be an problem issue for progressive men and women in future esp from gold diggers.

From the above, it appears that you are the one who has a problem with the way the marriage is going; so you are the one choosing to get out. Therefore, just get out and leave everything behind!

That's what a REAL MAN would do.

Are you man enough to leave her with everything and start life afresh?
Nothing is real unless it can be named; nothing has value unless it can be sold; money is worthless unless you spend it.
Wendz
#44 Posted : Friday, July 30, 2010 9:50:14 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
2012 wrote:
Wendz wrote:
I turned 46 in May this year.


Atî kay!!
And all this time I thought you were a ka-spring chicken...smile


Wewe.... sssshhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Impunity
#45 Posted : Friday, July 30, 2010 10:14:40 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,183
Location: Masada
John Kamau wrote:
We get along very well with her Mother who almost my agemate. (about 4 - 5 years older) than me. She also knows her daughter is nasty. No father tho.

Anyway this was an post on the law which is digressing.


If that is the case, chukua mama yake.
And save yourself unnecessary headache.
smile smile smile
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

Impunity
#46 Posted : Friday, July 30, 2010 10:17:27 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,183
Location: Masada
Wendz wrote:
2012 wrote:
Wendz wrote:
I turned 46 in May this year.


Atî kay!!
And all this time I thought you were a ka-spring chicken...smile


Wewe.... sssshhhhhhhhhhhhh!


Wendz is no longer a spring chicken by the way, but she has a rear which resembles that of a sumptuos spring chicken.
So yummy.
Drool Drool Drool
Drool Drool Drool
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

2012
#47 Posted : Friday, July 30, 2010 10:49:42 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 6,564
Location: Nairobi
My view on this is Mr. Kamau is too mature for this chic. You should have allowed her to grow a bit because clearly she's still in post high school daze. I think she's acting her age and you are acting yours.
Now what will you do when she wants to go for a Chiwawa or Abbas concert? Or when she subscribes to Insyder magazine? Or you want to watch news and she wants channel O?
Laughing out loudly

Stand for something or you will fall for anything. Today's mighty oak is yesterday's nut that held its ground. Rosa Parks
Jangwa la Jangili
#48 Posted : Friday, July 30, 2010 11:52:44 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 10/9/2009
Posts: 311
Iko sida!! Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

2012 wrote:
Now what will you do when she wants to go for a Chiwawa or Abbas concert? Or when she subscribes to Insyder magazine? Or you want to watch news and she wants channel O? Laughing out loudly

Katika Jangwa la Jangili ndipo Pwagu hupata Pwaguzi.
Ms Mkenya
#49 Posted : Friday, July 30, 2010 11:13:55 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 5/13/2010
Posts: 869
Location: Nairobi
Shame on you
my contribution to this... As you wait to sort yourself out, vote no. This katiba has many bad things... I can assure you this is one of the 'better' problems.
....above all, to stand.
thuks
#50 Posted : Saturday, July 31, 2010 11:04:28 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 10/8/2008
Posts: 1,527
mukiha wrote:
John Kamau wrote:



From the above, it appears that you are the one who has a problem with the way the marriage is going; so you are the one choosing to get out. Therefore, just get out and leave everything behind!

That's what a REAL MAN would do.

Are you man enough to leave her with everything and start life afresh?


I can't agree more!
I care!
sparkly
#51 Posted : Sunday, August 01, 2010 10:55:14 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 9/23/2009
Posts: 7,418
Location: Enk are Nyirobi
@john wa kamau you are 35 and she is 21. Which means when she was born you were in secondary school. You expect her to have made as much money as you have and to see things from your point of view? You must be a big baby too immature even for her. Go back to your mama or get yourself a wambui.
Life is short. Live passionately.
youcan'tstopusnow
#52 Posted : Sunday, August 01, 2010 1:41:12 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 3/24/2010
Posts: 6,779
Location: Black Africa
Jangwa la Jangili wrote:
Iko sida!! Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

2012 wrote:
Now what will you do when she wants to go for a Chiwawa or Abbas concert? Or when she subscribes to Insyder magazine? Or you want to watch news and she wants channel O? Laughing out loudly


Imagine her shock when you ask her to tag along for the next Mike Rua concert
GOD BLESS YOUR LIFE
youcan'tstopusnow
#53 Posted : Sunday, August 01, 2010 1:45:53 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 3/24/2010
Posts: 6,779
Location: Black Africa
Intelligentsia wrote:
A woman after 26 starts thinking along exactly the same lines - i.e of populating her nest because she feels her biological clock is ringing so loudly it can be heard in the next town.

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
GOD BLESS YOUR LIFE
simonkabz
#54 Posted : Sunday, August 01, 2010 9:57:26 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 8,732
Location: Cameroon
2012 amedin** ninii....POINT! Dispose them assets n hit the road!
TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
John Kamau
#55 Posted : Monday, August 02, 2010 2:22:46 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 7/28/2010
Posts: 8
@Mukiha & Thuks

I respect your contributions but if thats what it costs to be a 'REAL MAN'. Maybe I am not and dont intend to be one.

@ Intelligentsia - I thought the current law rightly takes into account the contribution of the spouse and awards them their proportionate contribution not an automatic 50%

This what I am not sure, how does this new constitution treat the above.

Wendz
#56 Posted : Monday, August 02, 2010 2:38:47 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
John Kamau wrote:

This what I am not sure, how does this new constitution treat the above.


My friend, if you do not divorce between now and tomorrow, you are soooo in the dung because this constitution is going through on Wed..... If you are asking for what it "says", the problem lies right there... if it is for interpretation, then well, count yourself half your worth .....
John Kamau
#57 Posted : Tuesday, August 03, 2010 3:27:37 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 7/28/2010
Posts: 8
Thanks @Mwaf & @youcant

Now that that this katiba thing is over, let me give you a little more of my messed up life. It may save you from headaches.

I have always been a not very good looking fellow (my buddies called me Lotodo as I look like him) so I immersed myself into books earning a Phd from our our National Unis by the time I was 31.
I had an issue with women possibly till I was doing my Phd while teaching sevelal Masters classes and doing consultancy here & there. I charmed several of them to a point I had too many women around me.
The mother of my son was one of them, she is a knock out. Her problem, masomo mingi. Being a political scientist our Rship was a roller coster banging our heads to proove she was a liberated woman as she had learnt. This was the case of most of the other masters women.
When we called it quits I decided no more dotcoms for me. I looked for a form four leaver and got one. A polite virgin who became my wife after a smooth 1 year courtship. She wasn’t threatened that I had a kid as my ex was married – actually to my good buddy and former roommate and she seems happy

What I have learned in life is
- Allmost all women are the same under normal room temperature and pressure.
- Go for the plain looking chicks, wachana na yummy yummies there is a better chance that youll be her knight in shining amour.
- Life is always greener on the other side – My married buddies want to dump their 45yr old wives for a 23year old. I want to dump my 23 year old for a 45 year old(Wendz??). An oxymoron.
- One mans poison is another man's meat; and
- Last but not least the wallet talks.
Wendz
#58 Posted : Tuesday, August 03, 2010 3:55:08 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
John Kamau wrote:
I want to dump my 23 year old for a 45 year old(Wendz??). An oxymoron.
- One mans poison is another man's meat; and
- Last but not least the wallet talks.


Bottom line, you have learnt something...

I am high maintenance... i like screaming wallets. I have great skills in silencing such screaming wallets... i believe yours isnt the whispering type... (and i hope you have a sense of humor)
kayhara
#59 Posted : Wednesday, October 16, 2019 11:32:40 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 5/5/2011
Posts: 1,033
Why did thread come up, but anyway about the topic there was a court order that will protect you from a good digging partner.
To Each His Own
Doombringer
#60 Posted : Saturday, October 19, 2019 9:15:58 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 2/19/2019
Posts: 30
Location: France
What have you really thought when you seriously think of that matter anyway. I do not want to get mad in that case alltogether. You are what ? 35 ? And she is what ? 21 ? Take a look at least to someone who is close to 26 or older anyway.
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