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Weddings: The newest form of exploitation
kelele.com
#1 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 11:46:37 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 6/28/2010
Posts: 293
Location: Gigiri
some months ago I attended a "Goat eating" fundraiser for a colleague to raise money to pay his dowry. Now the wedding preparations are underway, and I am needed in the wedding commitee " so that I and others can pledge what to give towards the wedding, on the wedding day am expected to give a present to the newly married......haiyaiyaiyae, things are getting out of hand, we fund you dowry, we fund ya wedding then we stock your new matrimonial house!!!! Nonsense, I will never sit in a wedding committee. People should learn to fund themselves or conduct simple weddings, like I did, mine didn't even cost 90k!!
Sina Signature. NKT
marex
#2 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 11:54:13 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 10/4/2007
Posts: 649
Now go and tell that to your colleague. He is the one who needs to hear that......

but yenyewe nakufeel... wedding commitees hazileti shangwe! Its good to raise funds for understandable stuff like school fees, medical bills but not WEDDINGS!!! having the public fund ya pleasures ni UJINGA
The way I am
famooz
#3 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 11:57:10 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/19/2007
Posts: 2,045
This one reminds me of a wedding 'committee' which I attended a while back. The couple presented a list of stuff,including the rings smile smile well,this was kinda in the village so it did not look too bad....
But i agree with @ kelele. people should operate within their means. Why go to Windsor you do not have bakes to fund it? However,if you have the bakes,do it even in Shompole smile smile smile smile yeah i cant help myself
Kratos
#4 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 12:00:22 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 1,694
The problem we face nowadays emanates by "keeping up with the macharias", where we strive to outdo each other in terms of how big and colourful the wedding should be. It doesn't matter if you don't have the resources, we think its our right to have friends contribute generously towards the wedding. These committees are nothing but fundraisers.
I was invited to sit in a committee a few years back and to my utter amazement, the couple had already chosen all the they needed and just wanted help with the cash, from the songs to be played on the day right down to the vehicles they wanted. I never went back for the meetings. Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

“People will believe a big lie sooner than a little one, and if you repeat it frequently enough, people will sooner or later believe it.” ― Walter C. Langer
bwenyenye
#5 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 12:25:41 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/24/2007
Posts: 1,804
This nonsense of toanishaing guys in the name of a fanciful wedding is not new. They were first called pre- weddings then when guys caught the idea and started keeping off, they morphed into goat eating parties. Personally I resolved NEVER to pay anyone's dowry. Never. I once sat in a committee for a wedding where our 'parents' had refused. We decided to make it happen coz the guys were in love. By the end of the committee, I understood why our mothers were against their daughter marrying that man. The burger had the audacity to ask' ninunulieni suti'.. Very useless idiot, we give you our sister, we organize the wedding ( his people did jerk), then we buy you the suit?? Iko watu shenzi type kabisa!
I Think Therefore I Am
jamplu
#6 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 12:32:47 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 3/25/2010
Posts: 938
Location: Nai
kelele.com wrote:
some months ago I attended a "Goat eating" fundraiser for a colleague to raise money to pay his dowry. Now the wedding preparations are underway, and I am needed in the wedding commitee " so that I and others can pledge what to give towards the wedding, on the wedding day am expected to give a present to the newly married......haiyaiyaiyae, things are getting out of hand, we fund you dowry, we fund ya wedding then we stock your new matrimonial house!!!! Nonsense, I will never sit in a wedding committee. People should learn to fund themselves or conduct simple weddings, like I did, mine didn't even cost 90k!!


@kelele.com hio ni ukweli. i have never understood why people have to do weddings that they can't afford them
then they end up begging for money some even go to the extend of taking loans.
Worst still asking your friends to help you pay dowry?? please get a life!

Mbona kujistress yet you can pay 200 for notice and 1050 for the AG chambers instead of begging.
Hio 500K + enda lipa deposit ya plot.

kingfisher
#7 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 12:33:44 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 4/9/2008
Posts: 2,821
nowadays i only appear on the wedding day to eat 'nchenga' and a present of a thermos flask. Ukikataa thermos shauri yako. maneno ya committe siwesmek
When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
Tebes
#8 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 12:33:45 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 2,096
kelele.com wrote:
some months ago I attended a "Goat eating" fundraiser for a colleague to raise money to pay his dowry. Now the wedding preparations are underway, and I am needed in the wedding commitee " so that I and others can pledge what to give towards the wedding, on the wedding day am expected to give a present to the newly married......haiyaiyaiyae, things are getting out of hand, we fund you dowry, we fund ya wedding then we stock your new matrimonial house!!!! Nonsense, I will never sit in a wedding committee. People should learn to fund themselves or conduct simple weddings, like I did, mine didn't even cost 90k!!



People should do weddings only if they have their own resources. If not, go to the AG chambers, wont cost more than 10K.
"Never regret, if its good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience."
Tebes
#9 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 12:36:12 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 2,096
kingfisher wrote:
nowadays i only appear on the wedding day to eat 'nchenga' and a present of a thermos flask. Ukikataa thermos shauri yako. maneno ya committe siwesmek

Laughing out loudly Applause Applause Applause

I like that
"Never regret, if its good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience."
Dash
#10 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 12:40:06 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 3/24/2010
Posts: 677
Location: Nairobi
I know of one where the committee money bought the brides car because the couple already had enough moola for the actual wedding. Including the honeymoon. The bride said this with no form of shame of course after the wedding. Never can I attend these things.Shame on you
Nobby
#11 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 12:41:22 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 2/8/2007
Posts: 625
Location: Nairobi
bwenyenye wrote:
This nonsense of toanishaing guys in the name of a fanciful wedding is not new. They were first called pre- weddings then when guys caught the idea and started keeping off, they morphed into goat eating parties. Personally I resolved NEVER to pay anyone's dowry. Never. I once sat in a committee for a wedding where our 'parents' had refused. We decided to make it happen coz the guys were in love. By the end of the committee, I understood why our mothers were against their daughter marrying that man. The burger had the audacity to ask' ninunulieni suti'.. Very useless idiot, we give you our sister, we organize the wedding ( his people did jerk), then we buy you the suit?? Iko watu shenzi type kabisa!


Ati you give him your sister, help him pay dowry, then pay for the wedding!! Bure kabisa!With the absence of my dad ( RIP) not even my mom helped me, i had to sweat it out alone so why would i help anyone.....??i can never help anybody except my son to pay dowry! Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
alma
#12 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 1:00:15 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/20/2007
Posts: 4,432
if a man can't take care of his own shit, then he's no man.
if a woman can't be wise with money, then she's no woman.

no wonder these marriages can't withstand simple issues like a bad hair day.
Jose: If I make it through this thug life, I'll see you one day. The Lord is the only way to stop the hurt.
cmk
#13 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 1:21:22 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 1/24/2008
Posts: 479
hata toi's birthday parties ziko..the other day a pubmate was inviting me to his son's graduation feast..
Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do-
Voltaire
Spend.thrift
#14 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 1:33:50 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 302
I have always wondered why people beg for something as optional as an expensive wedding. Being in these parasitic wedding commitees is a no-no for me. Picture this, every wedding commitee member is required to pledge say 25,000 bob coming to a total of say 500k. Each of these guys have to sacrifice hard and on top of these some have to fuel their own cars to the series of visits to the girl's home, contribute to dowry, pay their own hotel bills while there, buy suits from their cash and even sort out sleeping arrangements for some relatives of the bridal party who may have travelled from coast of Western and need to sleep. Then add the respectable gift, costing say at least 10k- and the man (I'll be gentle and say couple) enjoys the sex alone. Nine months later, the couple has a kid and then another series of "mkono-mtupu-haulambwi" visits ensue. Diapers, baby cots, clothes na sukari ya nyumbani and what have you.

Then about a month or even less after the wedding, either the groom or bride acquire their Kshs 1 million plot at Syokimau or even more insulting a Kshs 1.25 million Subaru Forester replacement for their aging but well running Toyota AE 90 that was already on the high seas when "friends" (some of whom have to take matatus back to their rented houses after the commitee meetings which usually take place after work hours) were being milked dry to fund an expensive wedding. I once attended one such commitee where the budget was 550K and when I asked the devil's question of how much the couple was going to contribute, I was met with unspoken fury. Pressed, they said their contribution was 70K. I never returned to the subsequent meetings and waited for the wedding day where I brought my gift of a rather highly priced duvet as my gift. I didn't have any problem buying the gift but wouldn't have contributed any amount of money to this monkey-business-wedding-commitee.

Surely a wedding is a personal affair so one should have a wedding they can afford or be willing to make personal sacrifices for the wedding you want to take place. Its just that simple.


That said I also reckon that even if you had 100% of the funding required for your kind of wedding, it is still important to rope in the help of friends and family to make things work i.e organising transport, preparing the church, logistics for catering, cake e.t.c otherwise it is impossible for the bridal party to do these things on their own and this is the right kind of committee.
cmk
#15 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 1:40:26 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 1/24/2008
Posts: 479
@spend...very well put
Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do-
Voltaire
famooz
#16 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 1:48:35 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/19/2007
Posts: 2,045
I think @ spend has summarised the whole thing...... and i agree with the role/ right kind of committee- logistics
jamplu
#17 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 1:52:33 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 3/25/2010
Posts: 938
Location: Nai
Spend.thrift wrote:


Then about a month or even less after the wedding, either the groom or bride acquire their 1 million plot at Syokimau or even more insulting a Kshs 1.25 million Subaru Forester that was already on the high seas when "friends" were being milked dry to fund an expensive wedding.


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Nice one.
wanyuru
#18 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 2:14:24 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/29/2007
Posts: 948
What ires me is those mates from shags or your hood, whom you're not even close pals but have managed to get your contacts from your folks , are the one who pester you with those sms reminding you that you have NOT pledged and later invite you to a goat-eating party-a week to the wedding to fleece you whatever little was left after you pledged

just two weeks ago, another one invited me to a committee meeting to plan for the bugger's graduation tea-party (UoN)] and when i didn't turn up, he had the audacity to call and ask for my contribution (*,)
Spend.thrift
#19 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 2:16:09 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 302
Ever attended wedding committess where the couple being fundraised for lists outrageous items like invitation cards costing 500bob a piece and expects other people to pay for them.

Or honeymoon to Mombasa flying Premier World yet they aren't ready to pay even for a first Class ticket on Modern Coast - and all the while expecting friends to sacrifice to fund that?

These Samantha's magazines and the Wedding shows are surely polluting our minds.

If that is what friendship means, I would rather have only one friend in this world even if that one person is my wife, son or daughter.
Mainat
#20 Posted : Tuesday, December 06, 2011 2:24:12 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/21/2006
Posts: 1,589
The last straw was the honeymoon to Zanzibar where none of the members have ever been.
Sehemu ndio nyumba
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