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Dealing wth relas n hela
murchr
#41 Posted : Sunday, June 21, 2020 10:38:08 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/26/2012
Posts: 15,677
Kama unazo and they are really in need, wapee. You know them better than we do
"There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore
.
sparkly
#42 Posted : Monday, June 22, 2020 9:57:44 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 9/23/2009
Posts: 7,854
Location: Enk are Nyirobi
murchr wrote:
Kama unazo and they are really in need, wapee. You know them better than we do


Sustenance is ok. But there is one who called demanding for a loan to start a business. She was bitter that whereas I have assisted other younger relas through school, I have never "helped" her. This is a married woman aged 37 who feels entitled to a loan from me.
Life is short. Live passionately.
Swenani
#43 Posted : Monday, June 22, 2020 11:25:11 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,154
Location: Vacuum
sparkly wrote:
murchr wrote:
Kama unazo and they are really in need, wapee. You know them better than we do


Sustenance is ok. But there is one who called demanding for a loan to start a business. She was bitter that whereas I have assisted other younger relas through school, I have never "helped" her. This is a married woman aged 37 who feels entitled to a loan from me.


If you do have, give out but don't squeeze yourself to give out.
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
kaka2za
#44 Posted : Monday, June 22, 2020 12:22:37 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/3/2008
Posts: 3,986
Location: Gwitu
sparkly wrote:
murchr wrote:
Kama unazo and they are really in need, wapee. You know them better than we do


Sustenance is ok. But there is one who called demanding for a loan to start a business. She was bitter that whereas I have assisted other younger relas through school, I have never "helped" her. This is a married woman aged 37 who feels entitled to a loan from me.



Key word is ' entitlement'
Truth forever on the scaffold
Wrong forever on the throne
(James Russell Rowell)
kayhara
#45 Posted : Monday, June 22, 2020 1:52:57 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 5/5/2011
Posts: 1,044
some will find me repairing a fence or the outside toilet, sit next to me telling me about his problems he can't even think of kujipa kazi helping me, so what I now do is give the some manual work that needs to be done like clearing the drive way to the house from the road, or prunning the trees and arranging the branches to dry for firewood, only then can i give money based on the current daily wage yani ki-siku
To Each His Own
sqft
#46 Posted : Monday, June 22, 2020 5:31:06 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 1/10/2015
Posts: 603
Location: Kenya
You guys are mean. You happily spend thousands buying single malt whiskys to strangers at pubs but find it hard to give your relatives some petty cash. Someone has even confessed demanding back the 1k he gave his uncle. Isn't this asking for a curse?
Exodus 20:17 Thou shall not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shall not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.
Angelica _ann
#47 Posted : Monday, June 22, 2020 5:44:51 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/7/2012
Posts: 11,642
sqft wrote:
You guys are mean. You happily spend thousands buying single malt whiskys to strangers at pubs but find it hard to give your relatives some petty cash. Someone has even confessed demanding back the 1k he gave his uncle. Isn't this asking for a curse?


True, I agree with you. Kwanza some strange random women are bought for booze and food, paid for uber plus given 2+++ thaos za kujishigilia nayo mpaka next time.
In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins - cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later - H Geneen
Swenani
#48 Posted : Thursday, June 25, 2020 11:39:05 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,154
Location: Vacuum
Angelica _ann wrote:
sqft wrote:
You guys are mean. You happily spend thousands buying single malt whiskys to strangers at pubs but find it hard to give your relatives some petty cash. Someone has even confessed demanding back the 1k he gave his uncle. Isn't this asking for a curse?


True, I agree with you. Kwanza some strange random women are bought for booze and food, paid for uber plus given 2+++ thaos za kujishigilia nayo mpaka next time.


This is a simple cost benefit analysis. An uncle doesn't have an airport yet the strange women have airport.
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
Mastermind
#49 Posted : Thursday, June 25, 2020 12:54:10 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 1/25/2012
Posts: 1,620
Location: Langley
xyzee wrote:
I have an uncle who would call every time with one story or the other. He would always ask for small amounts that in most cases you would not mind giving out but it became too much.

One day asked for 600, I gave him a 1000 as a soft loan which he gladly took promising to pay back. On the day he had promised to pay I called him and of cause he give me another date, this continued untill he started ignoring my calls. And with that my problem was solved.


This works miraculously. Applied it to a nagging friend, they have never called again to ask for money.
If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
XSK
#50 Posted : Sunday, July 12, 2020 8:03:39 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 12/8/2009
Posts: 966
Location: Nairobi
Mastermind wrote:
xyzee wrote:
I have an uncle who would call every time with one story or the other. He would always ask for small amounts that in most cases you would not mind giving out but it became too much.

One day asked for 600, I gave him a 1000 as a soft loan which he gladly took promising to pay back. On the day he had promised to pay I called him and of cause he give me another date, this continued untill he started ignoring my calls. And with that my problem was solved.


This works miraculously. Applied it to a nagging friend, they have never called again to ask for money.


This is literary buying their silence Laughing out loudly
You will know that you have arrived when money and time are not mutually exclusive "events" in you life!
AlphDoti
#51 Posted : Tuesday, July 14, 2020 2:47:34 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,245
Location: Kenya
kaka2za wrote:
sparkly wrote:
murchr wrote:
Kama unazo and they are really in need, wapee. You know them better than we do

Sustenance is ok. But there is one who called demanding for a loan to start a business. She was bitter that whereas I have assisted other younger relas through school, I have never "helped" her. This is a married woman aged 37 who feels entitled to a loan from me.

Key word is ' entitlement'

Remove the word "married". It does not matter marital status. If she is in need and you can afford, then assist. Who else do you want the relas to look up to. You know them better.
AlphDoti
#52 Posted : Tuesday, July 14, 2020 2:50:01 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,245
Location: Kenya
XSK wrote:
Mastermind wrote:
xyzee wrote:
I have an uncle who would call every time with one story or the other. He would always ask for small amounts that in most cases you would not mind giving out but it became too much.

One day asked for 600, I gave him a 1000 as a soft loan which he gladly took promising to pay back. On the day he had promised to pay I called him and of cause he give me another date, this continued untill he started ignoring my calls. And with that my problem was solved.

This works miraculously. Applied it to a nagging friend, they have never called again to ask for money.

This is literary buying their silence Laughing out loudly

This works for me as well for those relas who lie about "to repay" when they don't really plan to. Because after a while they forget and call promising to repay back... I just give what I can afford to lose.
AlphDoti
#53 Posted : Tuesday, July 14, 2020 2:53:04 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,245
Location: Kenya
Swenani wrote:
Angelica _ann wrote:
sqft wrote:
You guys are mean. You happily spend thousands buying single malt whiskys to strangers at pubs but find it hard to give your relatives some petty cash. Someone has even confessed demanding back the 1k he gave his uncle. Isn't this asking for a curse?

True, I agree with you. Kwanza some strange random women are bought for booze and food, paid for uber plus given 2+++ thaos za kujishigilia nayo mpaka next time.

This is a simple cost benefit analysis. An uncle doesn't have an airport yet the strange women have airport.

Bad manners demanding for small money one cannot afford to lose. Leave it to them. Let it be charity or sadaqa/sadaka.
AlphDoti
#54 Posted : Tuesday, July 14, 2020 2:56:23 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,245
Location: Kenya
kayhara wrote:
some will find me repairing a fence or the outside toilet, sit next to me telling me about his problems he can't even think of kujipa kazi helping me, so what I now do is give the some manual work that needs to be done like clearing the drive way to the house from the road, or pruning the trees and arranging the branches to dry for firewood, only then can i give money based on the current daily wage yani ki-siku

This is my trick too. When they come knocking in the morning, I ask them if they can repair that fence, or fetch water from that broken down well, or cut the edge, or wash the machines etc etc... when they give an excuse, I tell them I need to use the money to pay someone for that work.
Swenani
#55 Posted : Thursday, July 16, 2020 9:08:07 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,154
Location: Vacuum
AlphDoti wrote:
Swenani wrote:
Angelica _ann wrote:
sqft wrote:
You guys are mean. You happily spend thousands buying single malt whiskys to strangers at pubs but find it hard to give your relatives some petty cash. Someone has even confessed demanding back the 1k he gave his uncle. Isn't this asking for a curse?

True, I agree with you. Kwanza some strange random women are bought for booze and food, paid for uber plus given 2+++ thaos za kujishigilia nayo mpaka next time.

This is a simple cost benefit analysis. An uncle doesn't have an airport yet the strange women have airport.

Bad manners demanding for small money one cannot afford to lose. Leave it to them. Let it be charity or sadaqa/sadaka.


Umesema charity ama sadaka but in your post #54, you're turning them into slaves?

Bure kabisa!
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
Angelica _ann
#56 Posted : Thursday, July 16, 2020 9:27:49 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/7/2012
Posts: 11,642
Swenani wrote:
AlphDoti wrote:
Swenani wrote:
Angelica _ann wrote:
sqft wrote:
You guys are mean. You happily spend thousands buying single malt whiskys to strangers at pubs but find it hard to give your relatives some petty cash. Someone has even confessed demanding back the 1k he gave his uncle. Isn't this asking for a curse?

True, I agree with you. Kwanza some strange random women are bought for booze and food, paid for uber plus given 2+++ thaos za kujishigilia nayo mpaka next time.

This is a simple cost benefit analysis. An uncle doesn't have an airport yet the strange women have airport.

Bad manners demanding for small money one cannot afford to lose. Leave it to them. Let it be charity or sadaqa/sadaka.


Umesema charity ama sadaka but in your post #54, you're turning them into slaves?

Bure kabisa!


Forced labour Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins - cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later - H Geneen
harrydre
#57 Posted : Sunday, July 19, 2020 3:53:15 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/10/2008
Posts: 9,112
Location: Kanjo
wilyum wrote:
seriously,they can be a pain in the ass,yes thts wot am toking abt,dealing with relatives and money,how do wazuans tell them,kip off.Shame on you Shame on you


the ones really really in need I do help, but those other ones who just want handouts, I make it a loan payable in X number of months. Of course I know they wont pay but I also know they will be in hiding for the rest of their lives.
R.I.P John Lewis
sparkly
#58 Posted : Sunday, July 19, 2020 4:26:58 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 9/23/2009
Posts: 7,854
Location: Enk are Nyirobi
AlphDoti wrote:
kaka2za wrote:
sparkly wrote:
murchr wrote:
Kama unazo and they are really in need, wapee. You know them better than we do

Sustenance is ok. But there is one who called demanding for a loan to start a business. She was bitter that whereas I have assisted other younger relas through school, I have never "helped" her. This is a married woman aged 37 who feels entitled to a loan from me.

Key word is ' entitlement'

Remove the word "married". It does not matter marital status. If she is in need and you can afford, then assist. Who else do you want the relas to look up to. You know them better.


It does matter because the husband should be the first person to go to. Men should not get married if they can't take care of the needs of their wives.
Life is short. Live passionately.
AlphDoti
#59 Posted : Tuesday, July 21, 2020 8:42:40 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,245
Location: Kenya
sparkly wrote:
AlphDoti wrote:
kaka2za wrote:
sparkly wrote:
murchr wrote:
Kama unazo and they are really in need, wapee. You know them better than we do

Sustenance is ok. But there is one who called demanding for a loan to start a business. She was bitter that whereas I have assisted other younger relas through school, I have never "helped" her. This is a married woman aged 37 who feels entitled to a loan from me.

Key word is ' entitlement'

Remove the word "married". It does not matter marital status. If she is in need and you can afford, then assist. Who else do you want the relas to look up to. You know them better.

It does matter because the husband should be the first person to go to. Men should not get married if they can't take care of the needs of their wives.

Lady A earns 100 daily is married to man B who earn 100 daily. Both their daily income is 100+100=200, which is enough for their daily living. There is another unmarried lady C who earns 100 daily, which is enough for daily living. Now assume lady A and lady C wants to improve their life by starting a business but both don't have extra money to save. They both come to you to support them with capital for the venture.

From your thinking, the married lady A does not deserve your help, but the unmarried one C does?
kmucheke
#60 Posted : Monday, August 03, 2020 11:55:34 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 3/16/2019
Posts: 129
How do you deal with relatives like Malik Obama?


LINK

Quote:
He got rich and became a snob. What I saw was he was the kind of person that wants people to worship him. He needs to be worshipped and I don’t do that. I am his older brother so I don’t do that,” said Malik.

The interview done via Skype from his home in Nyang’oma Kogelo village, Siaya County, was meant to promote Malik’s new book titled Big Bad Brother From Kenya, which was released in July.



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