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Wives cheating
Thitifini
#1 Posted : Wednesday, February 13, 2019 4:10:01 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 1/15/2015
Posts: 568
Location: Kenya
This was deep, but lets revisit; why is women infidelity so painful?

Biko Zulu articles

60% Learning, 30% synthesizing, 10% Debating
Kusadikika
#2 Posted : Wednesday, February 13, 2019 5:06:30 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/22/2008
Posts: 2,621
There is a lot of deception in relationships and not necessarily infidelity. The proper idea of intimacy should be to unravel those deceptions till people see each other as they are and are OK with what they see.

This however is a lot of work and many people are too busy to do it so people settle at superficial relationships. Watu hawafungui roho to each other instead they survive on what their friends tell them about their spouses. A guy feels happy when his friends tell him "my guy, you are lucky, you got a good woman" and the girl is also being complimented by her friends and relatives. Meanwhile the 2 of them do not know each other deeply enough but they enjoy the illusion and keeping up the appearance.

The Amish people, those guys in the US who reject modernity and still use horses even in the modern day do not take photos because they say it violates the second commandment, "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image". Sometimes I have found myself contemplating this and I think they might be up to something profound.

Just do this experiment and see for yourself. If you are on any social media platform just look at the comments when someone has posted a picture of themselves or they spouse or their children. It takes less than a second to take a picture but the comments posted below pictures make statements on such wide ranging topics from the health of the individual, to how beautiful they are to how happy they are to how well they are doing etc. All of this is inferred from one image which took 1 millisecond. People can live in fantasy land and not know it.
Swenani
#3 Posted : Wednesday, February 13, 2019 7:51:24 PM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,040
Location: Vacuum
Thitifini wrote:
This was deep, but lets revisit; why is women infidelity so painful?

Biko Zulu articles

Because men are weak earthlings unlike women
Poverty is the root of all evil
Thitifini
#4 Posted : Wednesday, February 13, 2019 9:56:27 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 1/15/2015
Posts: 568
Location: Kenya
Kusadikika wrote:

Just do this experiment and see for yourself. If you are on any social media platform just look at the comments when someone has posted a picture of themselves or they spouse or their children. It takes less than a second to take a picture but the comments posted below pictures make statements on such wide ranging topics from the health of the individual, to how beautiful they are to how happy they are to how well they are doing etc. All of this is inferred from one image which took 1 millisecond. People can live in fantasy land and not know it.


So very true

60% Learning, 30% synthesizing, 10% Debating
Thitifini
#5 Posted : Wednesday, February 13, 2019 9:58:33 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 1/15/2015
Posts: 568
Location: Kenya
Swenani wrote:
Thitifini wrote:
This was deep, but lets revisit; why is women infidelity so painful?

Biko Zulu articles

Because men are weak earthlings unlike women


Weak in what ways? Men can swallow pressure from wife, kids, job, mpangos, the jalopy and still be happy at the counter top....

60% Learning, 30% synthesizing, 10% Debating
muandiwambeu
#6 Posted : Thursday, February 14, 2019 8:14:28 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 8/28/2015
Posts: 1,161
Thitifini wrote:
Swenani wrote:
Thitifini wrote:
This was deep, but lets revisit; why is women infidelity so painful?

Biko Zulu articles

Because men are weak earthlings unlike women


Weak in what ways? Men can swallow pressure from wife, kids, job, mpangos, the jalopy and still be happy at the counter top....

This happens to guys whose first investment is their WiFi. The moment you need one to procreate and u inverse the brooding roles. Then you are trapped and heart breaks are 6*4*6 deep.
Every lady should allow their men to shaggs otherwise they have no family if she get shagged.
,Behold, a sower went forth to sow;....
Uhondo
#7 Posted : Friday, February 15, 2019 10:38:22 AM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 8/26/2014
Posts: 49
In all matters, the pain felt is directly proportional to the amount of investment you have put in. Invest wisely.
Intelligentsia
#8 Posted : Friday, February 15, 2019 10:43:14 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/1/2009
Posts: 2,430
Thitifini wrote:
This was deep, but lets revisit; why is women infidelity so painful?

Biko Zulu articles


A simplistic view:
A woman will forgive a man who cheats if she is convinced he shagged other woman yes, but he does not really luv her (the other woman) and appears remorseful. To them love is paramount.

But if the man says he loves her (the other woman) then for the woman in the r'ship, its game over. Coz women are more emotional.

Men are physical, think about sex quite a lot and the actual sex act means everything to a man - so if your significant other is dishing it out, to men it means she is giving out her all. Nothing left for him. Even if she says she loves him, he will say,'...na mbona ulimtolea suruali...'
Coz to men sex is more impt.
So for men that marks game over...

ZZE123
#9 Posted : Friday, February 15, 2019 12:24:55 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/21/2008
Posts: 2,457
Thitifini wrote:
This was deep, but lets revisit; why is women infidelity so painful?

Biko Zulu articles


The link has a very long story – Please summarize it to get comprehensive comments
The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem
2012
#10 Posted : Saturday, February 16, 2019 10:13:45 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 6,553
Location: Nairobi
The problem with marriages is that women have become too easy unlike before awhile men are too spoilt for choice making making them bad-mannered.

Before you condemn my thinking, go sit in a club for an hour and observe men picking girls up and especially observe how easy it is. I went to one club last night with my better half and it's just appalling.

Stand for something or you will fall for anything. Today's mighty oak is yesterday's nut that held its ground. Rosa Parks
Thitifini
#11 Posted : Saturday, February 16, 2019 1:19:54 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 1/15/2015
Posts: 568
Location: Kenya
ZZE123 wrote:
Thitifini wrote:
This was deep, but lets revisit; why is women infidelity so painful?

Biko Zulu articles


The link has a very long story – Please summarize it to get comprehensive comments


Jesus, don't be lazy. Have you ever completed a 2k page novel?

60% Learning, 30% synthesizing, 10% Debating
FRM2011
#12 Posted : Thursday, March 28, 2019 12:59:20 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/5/2010
Posts: 2,392

https://www.bikozulu.co.ke/five-year-contract/

Came across this article by Biko and I thought this is the most appropriate thread to put it.

Here is a gentleman who I would rate as a perfect husband and father. An AA rating no doubt. But he got paired with a selfish narcissist and he won't quit.

How has he not figured out that she is obviously shagging someone else out there ?

And why not slap the bi#*h to restore factory settings ?

No man should take this crap. It will affect his kids in future. The son will always have self-esteem issues around women. The daughter will never respect any man after seeing the dad being treated like a doormat by the mom.

Disclaimers;
1. I don't believe in love so my rantings should be understood from that standpoint.
2. I don't believe anyone should stay in a marriage because of kids. That is cowardice.
3. I am not a good husband. A great father yes, but husband, maybe not.
FRM2011
#13 Posted : Thursday, March 28, 2019 1:11:05 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/5/2010
Posts: 2,392
FRM2011 wrote:

https://www.bikozulu.co.ke/five-year-contract/

Came across this article by Biko and I thought this is the most appropriate thread to put it.

Here is a gentleman who I would rate as a perfect husband and father. An AA rating no doubt. But he got paired with a selfish narcissist and he won't quit.

How has he not figured out that she is obviously shagging someone else out there ?

And why not slap the bi#*h to restore factory settings ?

No man should take this crap. It will affect his kids in future. The son will always have self-esteem issues around women. The daughter will never respect any man after seeing the dad being treated like a doormat by the mom.

Disclaimers;
1. I don't believe in love so my rantings should be understood from that standpoint.
2. I don't believe anyone should stay in a marriage because of kids. That is cowardice.
3. I am not a good husband. A great father yes, but husband, maybe not.


On second thoughts, this lady could be suffering from a condition I read somewhere Martha stewart was suffering from.

Poverty is traumatizing. And for some people, the trauma lasts a lifetime. They spend every moment in their life trying to create a buffer as wide as possible between them and poverty. Sub-consciously running away from poverty all their lives.

On the day Martha stewart's net-worth hit $1B, her friend told her its time to celebrate, she responded, "No, its time to get back to work". She would later get jailed for insider-dealing when trying to avoid a loss of $30,000. Both her husband and daughter left her when they realized she was an addict and only money gave her a high. Not for what she would buy with the money, but just to have it for its own sake.
Ngogoyo
#14 Posted : Thursday, March 28, 2019 3:49:51 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 6/22/2011
Posts: 557
Location: House
FRM2011 wrote:

https://www.bikozulu.co.ke/five-year-contract/

Came across this article by Biko and I thought this is the most appropriate thread to put it.

Here is a gentleman who I would rate as a perfect husband and father. An AA rating no doubt. But he got paired with a selfish narcissist and he won't quit.

How has he not figured out that she is obviously shagging someone else out there ?

And why not slap the bi#*h to restore factory settings ?

No man should take this crap. It will affect his kids in future. The son will always have self-esteem issues around women. The daughter will never respect any man after seeing the dad being treated like a doormat by the mom.

Disclaimers;
1. I don't believe in love so my rantings should be understood from that standpoint.
2. I don't believe anyone should stay in a marriage because of kids. That is cowardice.
3. I am not a good husband. A great father yes, but husband, maybe not.


HE IS DOING EVERTHING WRONG. HE IS THE ONE FEEDING IT.

kind of father who bathes his kids, I make breakfast every Saturday morning while she sleeps, while most men I know are nursing a hangie or even never showed up at home! As in when she wakes up and finds breakfast ready do you know what she says when she sits at the table what bullshit is this!. It should be like once half a yearLaughing out loudly or never.

I see guys who are the opposite of me, they don’t do shit at home, they run around shagging girls, but their wives seem to appreciate them, yet I, who does things by the book, my wife thinks I’m no good?!!”
he knows the solution he is just afraid of getting out of comfort zone.

Every year I take the family for a holiday. Church is important to her so I choose to take it seriously even though I’m in a crisis of faith somewhat at this moment in my life. I have made what’s important to her important to me but it’s not enough and I feel unappreciated. I’m not enough for her.”
he needs to put Him as 1st priority, always! not kids, not wife, HIM. that way he can be there for the kids in future. without him being 1st priority in his life, he might die of depression and never be there for the kids

He says that he is the one who goes for all the children’s school activities; prize giving, sports day, open days, swimming galas. He takes cake to the school during birthdays, waiting around to cut it, sing and blow balloons. “When I go to these school events, I’m always one of the three dads at the function.”

He needs to act busy even when he is not. Create fictitious work on a saturday and go to the 'office'. Divert on the way and have a full body massage with happy ending. He will be smilling at home with empty balls and the wife wondering, 'is this guy on drugs?smile
Jump-steady
#15 Posted : Thursday, March 28, 2019 4:19:18 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 12/1/2008
Posts: 1,086
Ngogoyo wrote:
FRM2011 wrote:

https://www.bikozulu.co.ke/five-year-contract/

Came across this article by Biko and I thought this is the most appropriate thread to put it.

Here is a gentleman who I would rate as a perfect husband and father. An AA rating no doubt. But he got paired with a selfish narcissist and he won't quit.

How has he not figured out that she is obviously shagging someone else out there ?

And why not slap the bi#*h to restore factory settings ?

No man should take this crap. It will affect his kids in future. The son will always have self-esteem issues around women. The daughter will never respect any man after seeing the dad being treated like a doormat by the mom.

Disclaimers;
1. I don't believe in love so my rantings should be understood from that standpoint.
2. I don't believe anyone should stay in a marriage because of kids. That is cowardice.
3. I am not a good husband. A great father yes, but husband, maybe not.


HE IS DOING EVERTHING WRONG. HE IS THE ONE FEEDING IT.

kind of father who bathes his kids, I make breakfast every Saturday morning while she sleeps, while most men I know are nursing a hangie or even never showed up at home! As in when she wakes up and finds breakfast ready do you know what she says when she sits at the table what bullshit is this!. It should be like once half a yearLaughing out loudly or never.

I see guys who are the opposite of me, they don’t do shit at home, they run around shagging girls, but their wives seem to appreciate them, yet I, who does things by the book, my wife thinks I’m no good?!!”
he knows the solution he is just afraid of getting out of comfort zone.

Every year I take the family for a holiday. Church is important to her so I choose to take it seriously even though I’m in a crisis of faith somewhat at this moment in my life. I have made what’s important to her important to me but it’s not enough and I feel unappreciated. I’m not enough for her.”
he needs to put Him as 1st priority, always! not kids, not wife, HIM. that way he can be there for the kids in future. without him being 1st priority in his life, he might die of depression and never be there for the kids

He says that he is the one who goes for all the children’s school activities; prize giving, sports day, open days, swimming galas. He takes cake to the school during birthdays, waiting around to cut it, sing and blow balloons. “When I go to these school events, I’m always one of the three dads at the function.”

He needs to act busy even when he is not. Create fictitious work on a saturday and go to the 'office'. Divert on the way and have a full body massage with happy ending. He will be smilling at home with empty balls and the wife wondering, 'is this guy on drugs?smile


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

@Ngogoyo, you are a very bad example. @Swenani pales in comparisonLaughing out loudly
newfarer
#16 Posted : Thursday, March 28, 2019 7:48:07 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/19/2010
Posts: 3,329
Location: Uganda
Jump-steady wrote:
Ngogoyo wrote:
FRM2011 wrote:

https://www.bikozulu.co.ke/five-year-contract/

Came across this article by Biko and I thought this is the most appropriate thread to put it.

Here is a gentleman who I would rate as a perfect husband and father. An AA rating no doubt. But he got paired with a selfish narcissist and he won't quit.

How has he not figured out that she is obviously shagging someone else out there ?

And why not slap the bi#*h to restore factory settings ?

No man should take this crap. It will affect his kids in future. The son will always have self-esteem issues around women. The daughter will never respect any man after seeing the dad being treated like a doormat by the mom.

Disclaimers;
1. I don't believe in love so my rantings should be understood from that standpoint.
2. I don't believe anyone should stay in a marriage because of kids. That is cowardice.
3. I am not a good husband. A great father yes, but husband, maybe not.


HE IS DOING EVERTHING WRONG. HE IS THE ONE FEEDING IT.

kind of father who bathes his kids, I make breakfast every Saturday morning while she sleeps, while most men I know are nursing a hangie or even never showed up at home! As in when she wakes up and finds breakfast ready do you know what she says when she sits at the table what bullshit is this!. It should be like once half a yearLaughing out loudly or never.

I see guys who are the opposite of me, they don’t do shit at home, they run around shagging girls, but their wives seem to appreciate them, yet I, who does things by the book, my wife thinks I’m no good?!!”
he knows the solution he is just afraid of getting out of comfort zone.

Every year I take the family for a holiday. Church is important to her so I choose to take it seriously even though I’m in a crisis of faith somewhat at this moment in my life. I have made what’s important to her important to me but it’s not enough and I feel unappreciated. I’m not enough for her.”
he needs to put Him as 1st priority, always! not kids, not wife, HIM. that way he can be there for the kids in future. without him being 1st priority in his life, he might die of depression and never be there for the kids

He says that he is the one who goes for all the children’s school activities; prize giving, sports day, open days, swimming galas. He takes cake to the school during birthdays, waiting around to cut it, sing and blow balloons. “When I go to these school events, I’m always one of the three dads at the function.”

He needs to act busy even when he is not. Create fictitious work on a saturday and go to the 'office'. Divert on the way and have a full body massage with happy ending. He will be smilling at home with empty balls and the wife wondering, 'is this guy on drugs?smile


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

@Ngogoyo, you are a very bad example. @Swenani pales in comparisonLaughing out loudly

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
punda amecheka
newfarer
#17 Posted : Thursday, March 28, 2019 7:50:59 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/19/2010
Posts: 3,329
Location: Uganda
ngogoyo..you are evil..Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly .though it works wonders but just be careful as you empty the the bowls.bibi akileta shida just be difficult don't be desperate. she will tow to the line.ukikohoa anauliza ati umesema?
punda amecheka
Thitifini
#18 Posted : Friday, March 29, 2019 12:41:02 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 1/15/2015
Posts: 568
Location: Kenya
newfarer wrote:
Jump-steady wrote:
Ngogoyo wrote:
FRM2011 wrote:

https://www.bikozulu.co.ke/five-year-contract/

Came across this article by Biko and I thought this is the most appropriate thread to put it.

Here is a gentleman who I would rate as a perfect husband and father. An AA rating no doubt. But he got paired with a selfish narcissist and he won't quit.

How has he not figured out that she is obviously shagging someone else out there ?

And why not slap the bi#*h to restore factory settings ?

No man should take this crap. It will affect his kids in future. The son will always have self-esteem issues around women. The daughter will never respect any man after seeing the dad being treated like a doormat by the mom.

Disclaimers;
1. I don't believe in love so my rantings should be understood from that standpoint.
2. I don't believe anyone should stay in a marriage because of kids. That is cowardice.
3. I am not a good husband. A great father yes, but husband, maybe not.


HE IS DOING EVERTHING WRONG. HE IS THE ONE FEEDING IT.

kind of father who bathes his kids, I make breakfast every Saturday morning while she sleeps, while most men I know are nursing a hangie or even never showed up at home! As in when she wakes up and finds breakfast ready do you know what she says when she sits at the table what bullshit is this!. It should be like once half a yearLaughing out loudly or never.

I see guys who are the opposite of me, they don’t do shit at home, they run around shagging girls, but their wives seem to appreciate them, yet I, who does things by the book, my wife thinks I’m no good?!!”
he knows the solution he is just afraid of getting out of comfort zone.

Every year I take the family for a holiday. Church is important to her so I choose to take it seriously even though I’m in a crisis of faith somewhat at this moment in my life. I have made what’s important to her important to me but it’s not enough and I feel unappreciated. I’m not enough for her.”
he needs to put Him as 1st priority, always! not kids, not wife, HIM. that way he can be there for the kids in future. without him being 1st priority in his life, he might die of depression and never be there for the kids

He says that he is the one who goes for all the children’s school activities; prize giving, sports day, open days, swimming galas. He takes cake to the school during birthdays, waiting around to cut it, sing and blow balloons. “When I go to these school events, I’m always one of the three dads at the function.”

He needs to act busy even when he is not. Create fictitious work on a saturday and go to the 'office'. Divert on the way and have a full body massage with happy ending. He will be smilling at home with empty balls and the wife wondering, 'is this guy on drugs?smile


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

@Ngogoyo, you are a very bad example. @Swenani pales in comparisonLaughing out loudly

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Evilness on steroidsLaughing out loudly

60% Learning, 30% synthesizing, 10% Debating
Ngogoyo
#19 Posted : Friday, March 29, 2019 2:41:53 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 6/22/2011
Posts: 557
Location: House
Thitifini wrote:
newfarer wrote:
Jump-steady wrote:
Ngogoyo wrote:
FRM2011 wrote:

https://www.bikozulu.co.ke/five-year-contract/

Came across this article by Biko and I thought this is the most appropriate thread to put it.

Here is a gentleman who I would rate as a perfect husband and father. An AA rating no doubt. But he got paired with a selfish narcissist and he won't quit.

How has he not figured out that she is obviously shagging someone else out there ?

And why not slap the bi#*h to restore factory settings ?

No man should take this crap. It will affect his kids in future. The son will always have self-esteem issues around women. The daughter will never respect any man after seeing the dad being treated like a doormat by the mom.

Disclaimers;
1. I don't believe in love so my rantings should be understood from that standpoint.
2. I don't believe anyone should stay in a marriage because of kids. That is cowardice.
3. I am not a good husband. A great father yes, but husband, maybe not.


HE IS DOING EVERTHING WRONG. HE IS THE ONE FEEDING IT.

kind of father who bathes his kids, I make breakfast every Saturday morning while she sleeps, while most men I know are nursing a hangie or even never showed up at home! As in when she wakes up and finds breakfast ready do you know what she says when she sits at the table what bullshit is this!. It should be like once half a yearLaughing out loudly or never.

I see guys who are the opposite of me, they don’t do shit at home, they run around shagging girls, but their wives seem to appreciate them, yet I, who does things by the book, my wife thinks I’m no good?!!”
he knows the solution he is just afraid of getting out of comfort zone.

Every year I take the family for a holiday. Church is important to her so I choose to take it seriously even though I’m in a crisis of faith somewhat at this moment in my life. I have made what’s important to her important to me but it’s not enough and I feel unappreciated. I’m not enough for her.”
he needs to put Him as 1st priority, always! not kids, not wife, HIM. that way he can be there for the kids in future. without him being 1st priority in his life, he might die of depression and never be there for the kids

He says that he is the one who goes for all the children’s school activities; prize giving, sports day, open days, swimming galas. He takes cake to the school during birthdays, waiting around to cut it, sing and blow balloons. “When I go to these school events, I’m always one of the three dads at the function.”

He needs to act busy even when he is not. Create fictitious work on a saturday and go to the 'office'. Divert on the way and have a full body massage with happy ending. He will be smilling at home with empty balls and the wife wondering, 'is this guy on drugs?smile


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

@Ngogoyo, you are a very bad example. @Swenani pales in comparisonLaughing out loudly

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Evilness on steroidsLaughing out loudly


But its the truth @newfarer. This world owes no one happiness. One has to create it. As @sukumawiki says, no one has a right not to be offended.
FRM2011
#20 Posted : Friday, March 29, 2019 4:40:13 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/5/2010
Posts: 2,392
Ngogoyo wrote:


HE IS DOING EVERTHING WRONG. HE IS THE ONE FEEDING IT.

kind of father who bathes his kids, I make breakfast every Saturday morning while she sleeps, while most men I know are nursing a hangie or even never showed up at home! As in when she wakes up and finds breakfast ready do you know what she says when she sits at the table what bullshit is this!. It should be like once half a yearLaughing out loudly or never.

I see guys who are the opposite of me, they don’t do shit at home, they run around shagging girls, but their wives seem to appreciate them, yet I, who does things by the book, my wife thinks I’m no good?!!”
he knows the solution he is just afraid of getting out of comfort zone.

Every year I take the family for a holiday. Church is important to her so I choose to take it seriously even though I’m in a crisis of faith somewhat at this moment in my life. I have made what’s important to her important to me but it’s not enough and I feel unappreciated. I’m not enough for her.”
he needs to put Him as 1st priority, always! not kids, not wife, HIM. that way he can be there for the kids in future. without him being 1st priority in his life, he might die of depression and never be there for the kids

He says that he is the one who goes for all the children’s school activities; prize giving, sports day, open days, swimming galas. He takes cake to the school during birthdays, waiting around to cut it, sing and blow balloons. “When I go to these school events, I’m always one of the three dads at the function.”

He needs to act busy even when he is not. Create fictitious work on a saturday and go to the 'office'. Divert on the way and have a full body massage with happy ending. He will be smilling at home with empty balls and the wife wondering, 'is this guy on drugs?smile


@Ngogoyo, you are the real deal. Our brother @swenani should chip in and tell wazuans that the "massage" business is the fastest growing in the city. He should know because he has one outlet in Kilimani.
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